The HMS Falcon, the 18th-century English Navy group I belong to, had decided to record a CD of sea shanties (with a couple of 18c. tavern songs thrown into the mix).

So this weekend, Severin and I we loaded up my car with audio equipment and up to Jacksonville we went. We recorded in the scene shop of the Alhambra Dinner Theatre, where one of our members works. Being located in a warehouse, two problems immediately presented themselves: the place was extremely "live", acoustically speaking, and there was no air conditioning.

The first problem was easy enough to fix. There were plenty of flats available, so we arranged them to direct the reflected sound away from the microphones, which cleaned things up to an amazing degree. It wasn't as good as acoustic foam baffles, obviously, but it was actually very effective.

The second problem was just one we had to live with. Normally, the scene shop runs several big industrial fans to keep things cool, but obviously we couldn't do that while we were recording. So we sweated.

Matt, one of our two shantymen, handed out a thick sheaf of paper, consisting of the lyrics to each song. His goal, which we only learned later, was to record enough songs to cut two CDs, an ambitious project — probably a bit too ambitious.

Anyway, I requested that we get at least two good takes of each song, which turned out to be a fortunate decision; given that we sing these songs only a handful of times a year, by the second take, people were actually remembering them well enough for the songs to sound good.

I have to say, I was impressed by the fortitude of the Falcons, and especially by that of Matt and Ed (our other shantyman). We spent nearly ten hours singing in the stifling heat, and everyone remained cheerful and energetic, and everyone kept singing with strong voices until the end.

At one point, the heat got to my computer — it sped up the fan to the point where the microphones were picking it up, despite having heavy wool blankets between the computer and the microphones to reduce the sound. A few minutes in the small air-conditioned office with the cover off helped greatly.

All in all, the guys sounded pretty good. As I was running the equipment, I didn't really get a chance to sing, but through the magic of multitracking software, I can easily rectify that.

Now for the hard part: mixing and mastering.

I was downloading the Microsoft Windows SDK this morning, and (as always) I read the End-User License Agreement carefully.

Microsoft's got an enormous hardon for the free software/open-source software movement. Not once, but twice, they included the following restriction:

Publicly Available Software. Your license rights to the Redistributable Components are conditioned upon your not incorporating into, combining with, or distributing in conjunction with the Redistributable Components or a derivative work thereof, or using in the development of a derivative work of the Redistributable Components, other software which is licensed pursuant to terms that (a) create, or purport to create, obligations for Microsoft with respect to the Redistributable Components or derivative work thereof or (b) grant, or purport to grant, to any third party any rights or immunities under Microsoft's intellectual property or proprietary rights in the Redistributable Components or derivative work thereof. By way of example but not limitation of the foregoing, You shall not (a) incorporate any Publicly Available Software in whole or in part into any part of a derivative work of the Redistributable Components; (b) use Publicly Available Software in whole or in part in the development of any part of a derivative work of the Redistributable Components in a manner that may subject the Redistributable Components or derivative work thereof, in whole or in part, to all or part of the license obligations of any Publicly Available Software, or (c) combine or distribute the Redistributable Components or derivative thereof with any Publicly Available Software. "Publicly Available Software" means each of (i) any software that contains, or is derived in any manner (in whole or in part) from, any software that is distributed as free software, open source software (e.g. Linux), or similar licensing or distribution models; and (ii) any software that requires as a condition of use, modification and/or distribution of such software that such software or other software incorporated into, derived from or distributed with such software be (a) disclosed or distributed in source code form; (b) be licensed for the purpose of making derivative works; or (c) be redistributable at no charge. Publicly Available Software includes, without limitation, software licensed or distributed under any of the following licenses or distribution models, or licenses or distribution models similar to any of the following: (a) GNU’s General Public License (GPL) or Lesser/Library GPL (LGPL), (b) The Artistic License (e.g., PERL), (c) the Mozilla Public License, (d) the Netscape Public License, (e) the Sun Community Source License (SCSL), (f) the Sun Industry Standards Source License (SISL), and (g) the Apache Server license.

I've colored three different sections in order to point out some interesting contrasts:

The first section, in blue, seems pretty reasonable. You're not allowed to use the SDK in a fashion which would create legal responsibilities for Microsoft. Nothing wrong with that.

But then look at the second section, in green, which purportedly contains "examples" of the first section. Part (b) is a reiteration of the first section, but part (a) states that works derived from the SDK may not "incorporate, be combined or distributed with Publicly Available Software in whole or in part". The use of the word "and" indicates that both parts (a) and (b) must be followed.

But what is "Publicly Available Software"? The red section shows that the "examples" extend their conditions quite a bit past mere legal responsibilities. We begin with a definition that includes "each of" clauses (i) and (ii), and clause (ii) can be either (a), (b) or (c). So all freeware fits the definition of "Publicly Available Software", because it is "distributed as free software" — thus falling under clause (i) — and because freeware by definition is redistributable without charge, it falls afoul of (ii)(c).

So looking back at the second section, we see that freeware violates part (a). But even if it doesn't violate part (b) due to license restrictions, the use of the word "and" means that their "example" prohibits the use of the SDK to develop freeware altogether.

Microsoft obviously feels threatened by free software (enough that they had to put that section in twice), and for good reason. The Apache Web server, open-source and free software, has a greater market penetration than Microsoft's IIS Web server ($999 for a five client access license); and it'll run on Linux or Windows, unlike IIS which is a Windows-only program. The PHP scripting language is more widely used than Microsoft's equivalent, ASP; not only does it run on all those Apache servers, it'll also run on Microsoft's IIS. (Does Microsoft offer ASP for other platforms? Nope!) Likewise for MySQL, which competes with Microsoft Access ($339); not only is it free, but again, it'll run just as happily on an all-Microsoft system as it will on a Linux machine running Apache.

So it's no wonder Microsoft hates free software. They want to control the Internet, but free software is offering people stable, viable alternatives — so Microsoft does everything in its power to hinder the production of free software. Are they a monopoly? Not quite, as long as there are groups like Apache out there who can't be bought out or driven into bankruptcy. But judging by Microsoft's license agreement, they desperately want to be a monopoly.

According to the Which Homestar Runner character are you? quiz, I'm the King of Town.

You'we pwobably wight.

I rarely post on them, but I do read a number of SCA mailing lists once in a while. Sometimes I just have to shake my head at what I read.

For example, there's this one guy who's made no secret about the fact that he wants to be a Laurel (indeed, he's waxed eloquent upon how there's nothing wrong in saying that he wants to be a Peer). Recently, he's been bragging about how he slammed Duke Cariadoc (a well-respected long-time SCA Laurel) and cast aspersions upon the West Kingdom Laurelate.

Not bright. So many people in the SCA — well, at least in Trimaris — seem to have the misconception that it's just skill at fighting or the arts, or sheer number of events autocratted, that counts towards a Peerage. And then they go out and act like absolute jerks, apparently unaware that there are other requirements in Society law, such as "They shall have set an example of courteous and noble behavior suitable to a peer of the realm."

I can't speak for the Knights or the Pelicans, but the Laurels do pay attention to that sort of thing — sometimes too much, as in "He was rude to me seventeen years ago, and he still hasn't apologized!" So going around bragging about being rude — to a venerable Laurel, no less — is hardly the way to assure oneself a place amongst the Order.

Of course, there are some people who have been elevated to Peerages without having been exemplary in courtesy and nobility, and some Peers who feel they no longer need to act thus, but that's a whole different can of worms.

A couple of months ago, I got tired of Windows running ScanDisk every time the power failed (which, living in Tampa, means at least once per thunderstorm). So I decided to convert my primary drive from FAT32 to NTFS, which (apart from eliminating the need for ScanDisk) is purportedly more efficient on large drives.

Unfortunately, that latter bit only applies to drives originally formatted as NTFS, not to drives converted from FAT32. I ended up with a drive that ran at about a tenth the speed of my secondary drive (which was formatted as NTFS). Absolutely unacceptable.

The solution, I thought, was simple. Just XCOPY the contents of my C: drive into a subdirectory of my D: drive, reformat the C: drive, then XCOPY everything back. Easy peasy.

Wrong. XCOPY won't touch opened files — so the registry databases, which have all my application settings, wouldn't be copied. Not wanting to reinstall every single application, I wrote a program to replace XCOPY; it still couldn't open the registry databases (access denied).

Simple to get around, I thought. Just boot from an XP startup disk, so no files on the hard drive would be open. Ah, but the startup disk provides no NTFS support, so I could neither read nor write to the hard drives.

Well, that should be no trouble, I thought foolishly. Back in my OS/2 days, I'd installed all sorts of freeware filesystem drivers, including NTFS. Ah, but that was OS/2. I found plenty of freeware NTFS drivers for DOS, but all of them were read-only. I did find one read/write driver, but it cost $299, which quite frankly I didn't intend to pay for a one-time use.

So I pulled the drives out of my machine, stuck them into Karen's, and did the XCOPY. Worked like a charm, since none of the files on my primary drive were open — except the numbers didn't add up.

I'd forgotten to use the command-line switch that copied empty directories. No big deal, though I was surprised to find that there were 1,318 of them (out of a total of 35,189 directories). The odd part is that the copy contained 119 more files than the original. Now to figure out where the files are, and what they contain, before I wipe out the C: drive.

I discovered one other thing during this ordeal, of which I was previously unaware: hard drives run hot! I'm not sure if it's normal or not, but they were nearly hot enough to burn my fingers. Looks like it's time for a second case fan.

Discovered today that one should never build poses into a 3D model and then rescale the model.

I built a head this week, and in preparation for building a body to go with it, rescaled it down to real-world proportions. When I tried the "smile" pose that I'd already created, it translated the control points at the head's original scale.

This was the horrifying result.

But if I ever need to do any "Hellraiser" style effects, at least I now know what to do.

Do you not find it abominable to refuse to avoid buggering sheep?

Due to the recent cooler weather, people are walking around downtown Tampa wearing sweaters and windbreakers today.

It is noticeably cooler than it was only a couple of days ago — but it's still eighty-one smegging degrees outside!

Yesterday, I tried sending email to one of the contact addresses for some 3D-related software that I use. My mail bounced back to me. Eventually, I ended up emailing tech support at the ISP whose machine was apparently filtering my email.

Me: Hi there, this is my problem, please help.

Email support: Sorry, you'll have to speak to a Tier 2 representative. Call our closest office to your location.

Me: Hi there, may I speak to a Tier 2 representative?

Tier 1 tech: (Barely audible) Why, what's your problem?

Me: This is my problem.

Tier 1 tech: Hold on a moment.

Tier 1 tech: What's your account number?

Me: I don't have an account. One of your machines is filtering my email to someone.

Tier 1 tech: Oh. Hold on a moment.

Tier 1 tech: What's their email address?

Me: jeeves@anchovy.com (not his real address)

Tier 1 tech: That doesn't sound like one of our machines.

Me: I know it isn't. One of your machines is somewhere in the middle, blocking my email from getting to him.

Tier 1 tech: Oh. Hold on a moment.

Tier 1 tech: I just spoke to my supervisor, and he said I can't help you if neither one of you are our customers.

Me: What's your supervisor's name?

Tier 1 tech: Uh... I don't know.

Me: You don't know your supervisor's name.

Tier 1 tech: Uh... He's not my usual supervisor.

Me: May I speak to him, please?

Tier 1 tech: Uh... Hold on a moment.

Supervisor: (female) Hi, my name is unintelligible, I'm the floor manager. Can I help you?

Me: Hi, this is my problem.

Supervisor: I don't understand. What are you asking for?

Me: This is my problem in plain English. (My fault; I assumed a support supervisor could speak geek.)

Supervisor: You think one of our machines is the trouble?

Me: Yes. According to the traceroute, its IP address is 64.58.128.30.

Supervisor: (immediately) That's not one of our machines.

Me: It's in one of your IP blocks, according to whois.arin.net.

Supervisor: According to who now?

Me: ARIN. The American Registry for Internet Numbers?

Supervisor: Oh. Hang on.

Supervisor: I spoke with our top tech guy, and he says mail is different from traceroute.

Me: Yes, I'm aware of that. But my system's mailer can't find a route to the host, and ping and traceroute both get filtered at your machine, so it's the likely culprit.

Supervisor: Oh. Hang on.

Supervisor: Are you still there?

Me: Yup.

Supervisor: Oh. Well, our tech guy says they're probably running a firewall that's blocking you. You know, with all the viruses going around these days, they're probably blocking all email.

Me: It's a public tech support address at a company.

Supervisor: Oh. Well, that's weird.

Me: Can I ask you: have you tried to ping or traceroute them?

Supervisor: Yes. It got stopped somewhere along the way, I don't remember where. I'm not in front of the computer where we did the traceroute. But it's probably because they're running a firewall.

Me: But their site is in a different IP block altogether. It's being stopped in yours.

Supervisor: Well, you're over my head here. I don't know anything about that. Our top tech guy says it's their fault.

Me: I see. May I speak to him?

Supervisor: No. Sorry, it's policy.

When I moved to Tampa, I frequently saw groups of street musicians downtown. A flautist and a violinist. A guitar trio. An electric guitarist and keyboardist. And so on. Once, there was even a five-piece Dixieland jazz band that was actually quite good.

But recently, all I see are solo musicians backed up by a rack of sequencers, drum machines and synthesizers designed to make them sound like they're playing with a whole band.

It's not that I have anything against such devices — I own and use such things myself — but it just cheapens the experience somehow. Their music sounds plastic and lifeless as they play slavishly along to a predetermined beat, rather than leading the music and imbuing it with that expressiveness which is inherently a part of live music.

For all of his rhythmic transgressions, the guy playing solo saxophone down by the city parking garage, with no equipment save his horn, comes across as more musical than the players chained to their phantom bands.

Assuming that others' comments are directed to or about you is egocentrism.

A little while back, I wrote a tutorial on player skinning in MOH:AA. (What that means, basically, is how to change the appearance of the player models in the game Medal of Honor: Allied Assault.) The tutorial was specifically geared to putting your own face into the game.

Since writing it, I've received at least one email per week that goes something like this:

HI, I LIKED UR TUTE. U LOOK LIKE A PROFESINAL. I TOOK PICTURES OF MYSELF LIKE U SAID, CAN I SEND THEM TO U AND HAVE U MAKE ME A SKIN?

(That was one of the more readable ones. At least he had the decency to attempt to write it in plain English, instead of 133+5p34|<.)

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to fish, and he'll ask you to go fishing for him.

I've developed a good way of handling it, though. I say that I'd be happy to make a skin for them; I charge $25 an hour, with two hours' minimum payable in advance. It's amazing how many of them then give it a try themselves.

Things happen so fast it's best just to sit back and enjoy the stylishly done action and not think about some of the holes in the plot this time around.

Walt Belcher,
Tampa Tribune TV Critic
(Reviewing 24's Season 2 opener)

Once upon a time, TV critics would tell us what was worth watching and what was worth avoiding. They made much out of little details like writing, plot and acting.

Now, however, it seems they just hype the new shows for the studios, ignoring the flaws (or even, as in the above example, telling us to ignore them). Just shut off your brains and look at the pretty pictures. Who cares about the writing? It's action-packed!

In 1961, Newt Minnow, the head of the FCC, derided television as a "vast wasteland". That little soundbyte is frequently quoted, but the rest of his speech is frequently ignored. It's a pity, for it contains a great deal that is still as applicable to present-day television as the oft-quoted excerpt. We still need, as Minnow said, "imagination in programming, not sterility; creativity, not imitation; experimentation, not conformity; excellence, not mediocrity."

And when the networks persist in their "relentless search for the highest rating and the lowest common denominator", they do lose at least this member of the audience, as Minnow warned the National Association of Broadcasters over forty years ago. I've been a hardcore Trekkie literally for as long as I can remember — but I don't watch Enterprise because it's so pathetically awful.

Broadcasters — like most corporations these days — care more about their profits than about the quality of their products, as the Farscape debacle shows. Until that changes, the stream of crap coming out of Hollywood will continue unabated — but as long as people are encouraged to just shut off their brains and look at the pretty pictures, it's not going to change.

I half suspect that "Kelvin Gordon" is a random-text generator masquerading as a blogger, but some of the postings have a little too much coherence for that.

I'm tempted to write a program that scours the Blogspace to create a gargantuan training file for MegaHAL or some other frequency-based text generator, just to see what kind of job it would do in spoofing an online journal.

I suppose I'm maturing as I get older. A few years ago, I would shove all my current projects on the back burner as new ideas occurred to me, a habit which left me with countless unfinished projects. Now I just have a gargantuan queue of project ideas, which gives me time to weed out the unfeasible ones.

Has this guy got a deal for you!