I woke up early on Friday, around 5 AM, and started studying. I reviewed the materials until I started freaking out every time I missed a verbal question. For sustenance, I stopped at Panera on my way to the test center and had half a turkey bacon sandwich and a bowl of their French onion soup. It would have tasted better if I wasn't so nervous. Renee the Amazing LMT told me Thursday to sniff something mint-scented, so I inhaled some of this "Sensory Therapy" stuff from Origins. (I originally bought it to help de-stress at work - hey, at least it's not illegal Xanax, right?) At the test center, I had to hand write out a solemn vow not to reveal the contents of the test to anyone. They used a web cam to take a picture of me - why I gave such a cheesy grin, I have no idea. The test started with the two writing portions. Then came the dreaded quantitative (AKA math). Whoo boy. I was guessing for the vast majority of the questions. Then verbal. Whoo boy, now thems was some tough questions! After that, the test offered me a chance at $250 if I took an experimental math section. Yeah, right, like I could help them. No chance at money was worth the stress of even guessing on 28 more math problems. Pass.
The big moment of truth had arrived - did I want to cancel the results of the test, or get a score? I didn't feel like losing the $110 test fee, so I took my chance and requested the score. I had no idea how this moment would alter my sense of self...
I got a 650 verbal and a 530 quantitative!
!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!!!??????????
Let me explain: throughout my young life, every time I've been subjected to a test that required me to fill in the bubble with a #2 pencil, I scored very high on wordy-verbally-English-filled goodness, and craptacular on the numbers portion of the program. So the score on this test, especially when taking into account that I was guessing on the math, makes absolutely no sense. I was astounded that I did that well on the math, and kind of upset that I did what appeared to be not so well on the verbal. But, after a bit of research, it turns out that the verbal score is actually pretty good. And the total score should be all right for my purposes. Most schools don't publish a desired score, but UF does say that they like their grad scool students to earn at least a combined 1000. So, yay me!
What I learned from this experience - the GRE is just a stupid hoop they expect you to jump through on your way to more education. Here's to surviving The Man's first hoop. I just hope the next one isn't on fire.
Okay, it's November, and the temperature is holding steady at 85 degrees. This is most vexatious! I have boots and sweaters to wear! I have all these neat jackets! Not to mention my leopard print gloves with the faux fur cuffs! I shouldn't be wearing sundresses and sandals! It's an outrage! What, are we going to have one day where I can pretend this place is normal and wear long sleeves without sweating? And did I mention that the A/C in my car is still not functioning? And at $500 to get it fixed, you can bet that it will remain non-functional!
The humanity!
I'm not quite sure what to make of this Bible quotation, appended to an e-mail from an engineer:
"...the wisdom of the wise will perish, the intelligence of the intelligent will vanish." Isaiah 29:14
That's not exactly the attitude I want to see from someone who has to design and maintain the structural integrity of things.
I'm not very comfortable e-mailing professors who have no idea who I am and saying, "Lucky you! I'm applying to your college! Want to meet with me?" And when I do meet with these profs, what the hell am I supposed to say? "Gee, it would be really cool if you'd put in a good word for me with the admissions committee!" Yet that's the advice out there; find some professors at the schools you're applying to who might be good advisors once you do get in, contact them and chat them up.
I crack myself up - but I couldn't have done it without A Boy and His Computer's "Church Sign Generator". Go play with it yourself!
On the one hand, writing a literary paper is easy - it's just your opinion on a topic concerning a written work. An opinion can't be 100% wrong, in theory. On the other hand, you don't want the paper to suck. I'm beginning to wonder if all my undergraduate English papers did indeed suck; however, I can't back this up because none of them are in existance. So I'll have to chalk this phase up to basic insecurity about writing.
Since none of my old papers exist, I am now faced with the task of writing a college level English paper as part of my quest to get into grad school. No pressure at all there. I've got an idea for a topic, now I'm wrestling with the creation of the dreaded thesis statement.
This game sucks - let's play "Hungry Hungry Hippos!"
I just got boned out of my overtime. Bummer.
"...alligators in a stream that's lined with gold nuggets..."
"Is it a cold stream?"
I have no idea either. That will teach me to try to lay off the Diet Coke before a meeting.
I DID get overtime from EngineerFest 2003 - but the 'gubmint' took a lot of it away from me.
Godfrey claims that this is an osage orange...I think it's either the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil; or, my pet theory - it's a mutant mystery fruit! I took it with us from Oxford to Cincy. I wanted to bring it home, but was afraid of what would happen when it was x-rayed at the airport. The x rays would have very likely caused a metamorphosis leading to an angry mutant fruit that eats people's brains. No one wants that. Unless I could control the mutant fruit. It would be my unholy evil fruit henchman! Muah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
I sometimes feel, especially recently, that I wasted my college years. I was in such a hurry to "get on with my life" or to "grow up" that I didn't take the time to get a full measure of enjoyment out of my studies. Part of it came about because it was difficult for me to find where I was comfortable. I tried an art major first. Wouldn't you think that there would be room in an art department for different types of students? No such luck. You had to be very gloomy and wear black and only be into modern art. I had forgotten until recently that I actually failed photography! I remember clashes with the instructor - he made fun of me because I wore a denim jacket with lace and fake gems on it. So sue me, it was the 80s, since I was New Wave and not goth that made me a bad student, worthy of contempt? I tried a semester of interior design but encountered a similar situation. I tried journalism but wasn't aggressive or outgoing enough at the time to make a go at it.
So I tried English and I loved it. Unfortunately, at that point I just wanted to go to the next level, that is, the "real world", so I didn't think to linger, didn't think to take advantage of all the opportunities. The thought of grad school floated into my brain, but I discarded the notion. Also, I had changed universities and didn't have many friends on campus - another reason to hurry up and get it over with.
So now I'm the ultimate late bloomer, hoping against hope that despite my grades - degraded with multiple math failures - my GRE scores - average - and possibly no letters of recommendation from old professors - that I'll be able to get into a decent grad program. On our recent trip I was able to sit in on a Milton seminar. Now, Milton is somewhat of a prude and I haven't read much of his work, but, just being in an academic environment - one where everyone is open to ideas and not backstabbing or overly competitive - was just wonderful. The wind outside tapped on the window, as if trying to get in, while we sat and talked about literary theory and subtexts and such. And I had the thought that the wind and I were doing the same thing - "please, oh please, let me in! I know it's not perfect and I know it will be difficult but...please let me try."
Let's just say that the past two days at the office have only reinforced my decision to get out of office life. As one of my GLOM (Gorgeous Ladies of Marketing) co-workers describes it, "Flourescent Hell".
As I've written here before, I adore Renee, Renee of the unspellable/unpronouncable French last name, Renee the massage goddess, Renee, my LMT. I have decided to have one visit with Renee a month. I'm so refreshed afterwards, even if my back or neck aren't bothering me. (Though I got stuck in evil traffic and almost lost my buzz this time.) Usually she plays fairly harmless American Indian-ish flute music, but yesterday's session started with ocean sounds. The ocean was too...active, way too much splashing going on, I kept thinking the tide was coming in and was going to wreck my sand castle. She asked if I wanted different music - could she tell? No, more likely she knew that her men clients like the ocean more than the ladies do.
We don't talk quite as much as hairstylist and client, but we chat some. She is superior to any head shrink, because I feel so much better, physically and emotionally, after each session.
Do I REALLY want to take the GRE subject test in literature for only one school?
Unless I recognize your e-mail address, any e-mail with the subject header "Hi" will be deleted. I usually don't fall for it, but thought I'd make it official.
Stupid spammers.
On a slightly related note - if you sell overpriced advertising, don't leave me a voicemail expecting me to call you back. It's your job to call me, see? Just as it's my job to tell you that my employer isn't interested. Also, if you leave a message about getting our ad in a specific edition, and I don't call you back, it means that we aren't going to buy the ad. Got it?
I am anticipating a pleasantly productive weekend. In addition to the fun and games of laundry, I need to officially ask people for letters of recommendation for school, and work on my admissions essay and writing sample. I have a good idea for a paper that will be based on work I did a year ago, so that's a load off my mind. Hopefully I will also be able to have a draft of the paper soon, as I want to give a copy of it to my recommenders. Is that a word? Recommenders? It is now.
This week flew by. I've been burning the candle at all four ends lately, so it will be nice to bring it down a notch. I'm trying to cultivate this Zen-like outlook on the whole grad school thing. You know, trying not to fall in love with one certain school, trying to brace myself to the fact that I may not get accepted anywhere, that sort of thing.
Everyone is in search of chocolate around here. But I've already said too much...
Missed getting together with an old friend who moved to Colorado a couple of years ago. Why? Because I'm not feeling too well, and neither is Godfrey. Could it be the lunch we had at Kahunaville? Maybe. They seated us in a place where we were unable to view the dancing waters. Bastards. I slept all afternoon and still feel meh.
In other news, I would like to go on record as protesting the 80 degree weather persisting into late November. At some point it would be nice to be able to wear long sleeves and not break out into a sweat during the day.
Well, this was certainly a lame-ass blog entry.
PAST: Trebuchet or battering ram?
Trebuchet, definitely. Since they're a major player in my hobby.
PRESENT: Stealth bomber or cruise missile?
Stealth bombers look so cool! Gotta go stealth.
FUTURE: Mass driver or particle beam?
Ummm, particle beam, because to me a mass driver is a Catholic person behind the wheel.
The management would like to apologize for the shocking neglect of the very fine PPF product from GreyDuck. Hopefully the writer can get her head out of whatever mess it's in and won't let it happen again.
After two reschedulings, today I have to get a filling. The last one was not an immediate success. The filling went right where my teeth meet, and since my teeth meet in a very strange way (in other words, I have a strange bite), massive amounts of pain were encountered by yours truly when I tried eating on said dental area. I had to go twice to have the filling filed down, which is a bit bizarre, let me tell you. The good news is I'm springing for the white filling, so no silver will obscure the dental area. The bad news is, those white fillings stay sensitive for quite some time - bummer!
I'm in a weird mood, in case you can't tell.
Maybe it's the novocaine talking, but I love the idea of a horde of cacophonous Santas taking to the streets and generating a bit of naughty Noël mayhem...several dozen Cheap Suit Santas paying a visit for a night of Kringle Kaos...see for yourself here...
This bears repeating...I mean, really, what the heck is that? It either proves the existence of a deity, because it's just too freaky to have originated out of the primordial ooze without a bit of divine guidance, or else it disproves the existence of a deity, because if there were a deity how could it let such a weird thing grow on trees? Did I mention I'm all woozy with dental woe?
Does anyone know how to spell deity? Diety? Demi god, god, Mr. Manfrensengen...I are an Englsih major...heh.
I'm feeling discouraged, it all started when I tried to become more Zen in my attitude toward getting into grad school, but now it's become gloominess. I think I've waited too long to nail down all my letter of recommendation writers - hey, YOU try going up to people you haven't seen in 13 years and asking them to write a letter on your behalf! - in fact I may have offended one of my potentials. Why do they need three damn letters of recommendation? All this crap is due in the middle or end of January. I just don't know right now. Yeah, I know, what else is new?
I'm sorry this place hasn't been much fun to visit lately. I'm sorry I haven't been much fun to visit lately. I should just make a blanket apologia. Hey, at least I introduced you to the horrors of the osage orange!
From my alma mater, a serious and scholarly literary conference on comic books graphic novels. It almost takes the fun out of them!
While Dr. Dentist was installing my new filling, he also spackled over this weird gap I have between two of my bottom teeth! Imagine that! No longer will I horrify people by using a butter knife in front of them while I attempt to pry out that annoying giant food particle - because no food can get in there! What will they think of next?
