Sorry I've been so lame lately. I've lost my mojo - the French call it...I don't know what. Anyway, I just can't get into anything - blogging, sewing, socializing, you name it. Work is bringing me down, among other things, and rather than facing my issues with a "go get 'em, tiger!" attitude, I find myself feeling utterly defeated.
"What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance."
-Jane Austen
I have to go up to the Super-Duper Mal Wart and get a new tire at lunch today. I don't know much about cars, but I'm pretty sure that your tires aren't supposed to be nice and smooth.
I grew up in Akron, "Rubber Capitol of the World", or it was until all the factories moved to South America. The malls all had tire showrooms there. You would think that tire production would cause quite a malodorous stank, but I don't remember Akron being especially smelly. Maybe because we lived out in The Falls. Now Jacksonville, THAT city can smell horrible due to the paper mills, though they've quite improved the smell there in recent years. Mum always said she couldn't smell anything when I complained about it, but, as was once said in "The Simpsons" - "This town has a weird smell that you're probably all used to."
You know, my parents never once took me to the All American Soap Box Derby when we lived there. What's up with that?
I told the production manager that I liked these posters, but thought they were creepy too.
Last week I spent $400 to get a new O2 filter in the purple Tracker, sometimes known as the Sinister Transport Vehicle. Yesterday, I spent $60-some for a new tire. Yesterday afternoon I noted that the purple Tracker (now known as the Tracker of Despair and Disillusionment ) is running rather rough. This morning, it's even rougher and the dreaded Check Engine light has reared its ugly head yet again.
Please note that the Purple Tracker of Despair still needs a front-end alignment, the A/C still does not function, and the tailpipe is rather rusty. So much for my vaunted Eight Month Plan to pay off credit cards.
There's just something about a salad with meat. This area has some excellent examples.
Greek Salad - shredded lettuce chock full of ham and Greek potato salad, with yummy ripe tomatoes. Not sure this is how they make it in Greece, but it's damn tasty.
1905 Salad - from The Columbia restaurant, a Spanish-inspired combination of lettuce, tomatoes, Swiss cheese, ham, olives...you can try to make your own but the restaurant is so pretty! Much more pleasant to go, look at the arcitecture, and have one of the nice waiters prepare it for you table-side.
BBQ salad - By Fred Flemings Famous BBQ. Again, filled with meat and lettuce, add dressing and BBQ sauce and enjoy!
I just read that according to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 1998 the average worker with a bachelor's degree earned $40,478.
As some of you know, I am considering going back to college, to attempt to get at least a Master's degree in English. I don't know many details at all - such as where, will I go full or part time, how the hell will I pay for it, when will I get started, etc. I just know that right now corporate life is not doing it for me. I am an egghead chick who digs reading and writing. I think I need to get a little emotional/spiritual/mental satisfaction from what I do for a living. Ideally I would like to teach on a collegiate level. However, I am well aware (thanks in part to this article) that it's not all rainbows and lollipops out there in academia.
So we'll see. I bought The GRE Test for Dummies last night.
Apparently my soup-ervisor needs one of those global satellite tracker things that people on house arrest wear on their ankles. Cow-orkers are constantly looking for her in her cube, and then when she's not there (as is often the case) they look over at me, like I'm the one with the satellite tracker thingee. Ack! The latest method employed to locate her is shouting her name. It doesn't work, trust me.
Here's a draft of an e-mail I just sent to one of my old college professors. His little personal web site was encouraging; I just got a good vibe and figured, what the hell?
I understand that you must be busy, especially now at the start of the fall semester, so I appreciate any advice that you can offer me.
I don't expect that you remember me; I took your Medieval Lit class in my last semester in 1990. Since that time, I have often kicked myself for not listening to my inner voice, the one that tried to tell me to consider earning a Master’s degree in English. But as is often the case, youth is wasted on the young. While I have had some great experiences in my varied career, I now find myself at a point where I desperately wish to go back to school.
First of all, is it even feasible for someone in mid-career to make such a drastic change? Is it acceptable to start school part-time and then transfer while pursuing a Master’s degree? Or is it better to earn your Ph.D. and Master’s from the same school? A number of friends I have spoken with on this matter have suggested that I look into distance learning. Is this considered acceptable by the academic establishment? I haven't found many programs in English literature; they seem to be mostly concerned with education or general humanities programs.
Another concern is my college GPA and letters of recommendation from professors. Would letters from work supervisors be equivalent? Do admissions committees take into account “life experiences” in lieu of a high GPA? I am planning to take the GRE in the next month or so. As far as writing samples go, the bulk of mine are work-related; the most pertinent one is a research paper I completed this year on hunting with hounds as practiced in England in the Renaissance and late Middle Ages. Would it be better for me to audit a class locally to get back into the swing of more analytical writing, or is some independent research and writing possible for someone in my situation?
Thanks in advance for your time.
I know I'm not very good company these days, and I apologize. Just got a lot on my mind.
In totally unrelated news, my big brother has a cell phone. He says that this means that everyone on the planet must possess one now. He's a total technophobe, but a prepaid cell phone was much more economical than paying the phone company to rewire his new abode. It took him a day or two to work up the courage to call and have it activated. He's so funny.
The professor wrote back. Here, in part, is what he said - I don't think he would mind me posting this.
Thank you very much for your post. I am honored that you would trust me with such a concern in your life...This past spring I helped an undergraduate apply for graduate schools in English literature, and she did wind up going to a terminal MA program from which she may be able to transfer to a PhD program, though she may also exercise the option at the end of the two years of seeking another profession. In the process of her very extensive and assiduous researches of Graduate Schools, she came across a website, which I myself never saw, that contained, she told me, a boldface statement to the effect that the visitor probably should not consider going to graduate school at this time in history because the opportunities are almost nil...At this time, I systematically warn all students who approach me for advice about graduate school about the gravity, indeed the peril, of the academic profession at this moment in American history when the public universities are sinking rapidly within state debt and private universities, many of them, are beginning to cost $40,000 a year for an undergraduate education. The fact of the matter is, realistically speaking, that, yes, you can with sufficient energy and grit return to graduate school--there is a positive response, however qualified, to each question you ask me. But the larger question, which is unavoidable, is simply, is it worth it?...I'm an educator, a teacher, not someone who takes any pleasure whatsoever in what I have just written to you. I truly wish that matters were otherwise. I'm also a man who aspires to be ethical, however. Therefore, as I have already said, I tell every student who approaches me what I have just told you. If, after reading my position, you're still interested in pursuing your questions with me, I will try to answer them in as much detail as I can when I return..
Scary, but I value his honesty.
late as usual, my answers to GreyDuck's meme.
PAST: Even the poorest of us had a few toys, growing up. Which was your favorite?
I don't remember one thing in particular; I was fond of the Winnebago for my Barbies. And my Holly Hobbie Easy Bake Oven - it was old-timey looking.
PRESENT: Constructive playtime is still a valuable thing for us adult-like personages. What do you play with when you need to cheer up??
I like to play with my blog, or my sewing machine.
FUTURE: Setting aside, as we tend often to do here, the established laws of physics, probability, supply-and-demand and common sense... if you could create a fantastical toy, what would it be like? (This can be for children and/or adults, in case you're wondering.)
How about a magic substance that makes everything funny - oh, wait, that's beer!
PAST: What was your first paying job?
My first official paycheck-bearing job was at a fancy shoe store at the mall. They told me it was a permanent position but then canned me after Christmas.
PRESENT: What do you do for a living nowadays?
I design the web page, print ads, and do writing assignments for a company that makes black boxes.
FUTURE: Barring "winning the lottery," what would be your dream job?
Lately, it's to be a college English Lit professor. I hope I don't have to wear a tweed jacket though - tweed is itchy.
I am going to do it, I am going to apply for grad school. I bought an excellent book by Robert L. Peters called Getting What You Came For, the smart student's guide to earning a Master's or Ph.D. I hope I can convince a school I like that I am worth choosing. I'm behind the ball in that I got my BA 13 years ago, and my grades weren't incredibly stellar. I think my coursework GPA was better. So in the next three months, I have to take the GRE, write a personal essay that dazzles, write an analytical paper, and go on some campus interviews. Plus keep my full-time job. So I'm guessing my SCA participation will be reduced, though I will submit my Medieval hunting paper to the nice folks at the Compleat Anachronist - might as well start worrying about the whole "publish or perish" thing now. I'm shooting for Fall 2004 admission. So if you have any advice or info on graduate programs in English - bring it on!
I'm on the proverbial roller coaster. I get all excited when I read about programs and professors, but then I read things like "Letters from employers will carry relatively little weight with admissions committees" and that takes all the air out of my tires. I'm old, my grades weren't good, but I have real-world experience which should count for something, even in the world of English Lit. I have taught people for a living, dammit! That's more than those whippersnappers who just got their BA, right? Godfrey tells me not to worry about things like "what if?" but my feverish little brain tends to work on the negative.
It's so nice outside right now. The humidity is low, it's warm but not oppressively hot, sunny, slightly breezy - Why am I locked in a wage slave cube farm? And why can't the weather always be like this?
ADDENDUM: I take all that nice stuff about the weather back, it was oppressively hot on my way home Friday.
The god of football smiled upon me and the legion of suffering Browns fans Sunday. Okay, the game must have been awful to watch if you weren't a fan of either team; the point is, the Browns won - by one point, true, but as they say in such situations, "Scoreboard!" AND, best of all, someone in the control booth must have been on crack, because the game was broadcast locally! Yay me! I got to watch the Brownies from the comfort of my sofa. It all started when Bri, who was over to learn a bit about recording from Godfrey, expressed a bit of surprise that I was not a vocal fan while we watched the Bucs game. (I was, he was just in the other room when I was interacting with the TV. Like when Sapp made a touchdown and got way too much bootie in his pants.) Godfrey said that I was much more emotional when the Browns were playing. And, lo, Bri got a sample of Football Fan Ginevra.
No, that wasn't a typo, Big Ol' Sapp did indeed catch a touchdown pass. To celebrate, he jumped up and down and spun around, kind of like a pogo stick type maneuver. It was special. I can't seem to find any video of it. You'll just have to use your imagination.
Stumbled upon this over at Buzz-a-Roni.
For some reason, the following portion of a job description for a Marketing Manager makes me think of the site "Fuck That Job!" which I originally found over on the Very Big Blog. With statements like "Management reserves the right to change the duties and responsibilities set forth herein at any time", does anyone else get the impression that this job is a lot of responsibility that goes hand-in-hand with a small paycheck?
PHYSICAL REQUIREMENTS:
Requires the ability to operate a personal computer, fax machine, copier, climb stairs, bend, stoop, reach, lift, move and carry materials and supplies weighing 20 pounds or less. Finger dexterity is required to operate a computer keyboard. [giggle! "finger dexterity!" - Ginevra]
ADDITIONAL REQUIREMENTS:
*Must possess positive and professional attitude and represent company in a positive manner
* Provide outstanding customer service, work well under pressure and be a team player
* Must have excellent oral communication skills
* Must have excellent telephone manner
* Must have excellent interpersonal skills
* Understand and follow posted work rules and procedures
* Accept constructive criticism
This position outlines the basic tasks and requirements for the position noted. It is not a comprehensive listing of all job duties of the associate.
This morning, one of the side streets in our neighboorhood was blocked off on both ends by cop cars. I could see an officer leaning over the hood of her squad car, staring intently. Meanwhile, the kids waiting for the bus were just milling about, only a few yards away.
Visit the home of PPF here, over at GreyDuck's place.
PAST: What sort of car did you want when you were a kid?
Heh - one of our neighbors had a blue Trans Am with that neato-keen firebird on the hood - I thought that was so cool! I wanted a Sukuki Samuri in high school.
PRESENT: What gets you from Point A to Point B nowadays?
A 1996 four-door Geo Tracker. It actually gets decent gas mileage, 27 mpg, and reminds me of the Suzuki Samuri. See, I eventually do get what I want!
FUTURE: Back in the '50s everyone talked about how, by the '90s, everyone would be wearing jetpacks to commute, or driving flying cars, that sort of thing. What futuristic commuting technology advance do you most desire?
I could really go for a flying car. Teleportation makes me a little nervous. I wonder if I learned that from Dr. McCoy?
I talked to a life coach the other day, A Ph.D. who helps get your life in order. A truly helpful service. However, the fees are going to be a bit too much, considering I'm trying to pay off some credit card debt, and colleges actually make you pay to apply to them. (Amazing! They can tell you no but you don't get your money back - the nerve!) So I'm going to use my journal as a place to post my progress toward grad school and such. Now, the bad news for you readers is, this is going to mean some boring entries. The good news is, if you enjoy nagging people, this may well prove a golden opportunity.
Today I read the geometry section of GRE for Dummies. It made my head spin. I kid you not, I never took geometry in high school. I read the first half of the algebra review section. Now here's the scary part - I actually got a few of the algebra review questions right. I also e-mailed the coach to tell her I didn't think it would be $-feasible at this point in my life. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to attempt the second half of the algebra review. Pray for me.
Subject line of a piece of spam in the webmaster box:
"Here is a world of freak you wouldn't believe!"
This is awful. First of all, we had a random check-up from the cable company. We had ordered Very Basic Cable TV years ago when we got DSL, turns out we had been getting it gratis. They were going to pull the plug on us - unless we took advantage of a special limited time offer. So a few minutes later, a switch was flipped, and I was watching Spongebob. And then And Now For Something Completely Different. So now I have a dazzling array of viewing to choose from - HGTV, Food Network, among others - must...resist...urge...to...watch...TV...
"Help me, Spock! Help me, Kirk!"
Okay - why on earth would I save a graphic that I designed that earned me a lot of grief? Explanation: a few months ago I was approached by one of the programmers, who was looking for a simple bit of artwork to go on an opening screen. It was no biggie as the software was still in development, he told me he just was looking for a quick pic to throw in there in the interim. I took an image we often use, applied a couple of simple Photoslop effects, and sent him on his merry way.
A month or two later, "somebody" didn't like the graphic. Who did this graphic? Why? Why didn't you show "somebody else"? We don't just let images out willy-nilly! Um, I din't pass it around because it didn't seem necessary, based on the info I got. So no real trouble, just a pain in the buttocks, a teeny bit of embarrassment. Didn't help that I was in an unusually foul mood the day that issue broke.
This morning, a third "somebody" comes up to me and says, "Hey, you remember that thing you designed a couple of months ago, right?" Um, no, no I don't. Can you be more vague? Finally it boiled down to me saying "If you are talking about the thing I think you're talking about, I doubt I kept it as everyone told me they didn't like it. But I'm not sure we are talking about the same thing. Do you have a print-out of it?" To which this fellow says, "If I had a picture of it I wouldn't need it from you." Touche. Fortunately he found whatever the graphic was he needed, or I suppose I might still be searching for the damn thing. And I still don't know what graphic we were discussing!
This is why, when I drive past the eager young students walking down the street to the local design school, portfolios and Art Bins in tow, I feel like shouting "No! Don't be a designer! If you can find a job, they'll suck all the joy out of you! You fools!"
So I'm watching ESPN's NFL Sunday Countdown, because I adore Chris Burman, and they're talking about Donovan McNabb - should he be benched? As you may know, Rush Limbaugh is on the program - on the other side of the studio from Chris and the other guys. Now, I was willing to give Rush a chance, after all, Dennis Miller got a shot at MNF. But when Limbaugh pipes up and says that the media really loves McNabb, because everyone wants to see a black quarterback succeed, and McNabb wasn't all that talented, well, I just wanted to lob a brick at that SOB. Keep your fuckin' racist, controversy-for-controversy's sake mouth shut and let the football pros do the talking! Ass!!!!
P.S. - please read all my comments before you totally flame me!
The Browns lost to the lowly Bengals today. Laurence the programmer (Bengals fan) at work is gonna give me such a ration of pooh over this one!
"A nice cake is waiting for you."
