Singing Potatoes
Thursday, 7 March 2002
Look at me, I can't even quit decently.

Okay, so I quit blogging. Deleted my entries and put up a placeholder page. Nobody cares about what a computer programmer does or thinks, I said. An exercise in futility, I said.

But then, oddly, I kept finding things I wanted to write about. Even if nobody ever read them. And it turns out I did have a couple of people who read my blog, one of whom was my wife. Who has indicated constantly that she misses reading my blog, hint hint.

So I rewrote my blog system to do some things I'd always wanted it to do, but never got around to doing (like using MySQL to store the entries rather than keeping them in a world-writeable directory and hoping nobody found it). And although the main page still appears in reverse order, like most blogs, the archives now display in forwards chronological order.

Or at least they will, when I've got anything to display in them. But it turns out that the Wayback Machine actually has most, if not all, of my old posts. So it looks like I'll have to write a script to convert them.

Would it be worth it to add a comment feature? I don't know.

Posted by godfrey (link)
Friday, 8 March 2002
A Learning Experience

So this morning, my Web site started notifying me of 404 errors from one user trying desperately to find this page. He or she was trying every possible spelling variation except the right one. Over and over again, thirty-five times in all, often trying the same invalid filenames (possibly under the belief that the system was just hiding it on them).

Being the helpful sort of person that I am, I added a special case to my error page, so that if another 404 error came in from this particular IP address, it would display a custom message providing them with a link to the page they were trying to reach, and indicating the correct spelling of the page's URL.

And they did in fact see this custom error message. FOUR TIMES. Rather than simply clicking on the link, they tried typing it in again, misspelling it three more times before they apparently hit on the right spelling (or just gave up and clicked on the link).

Ironically, the whois information on their IP address claimed that they were connecting from the Indiana Higher Education Telecommunication System. (I'd hate to see the result of Indiana's lower education!)

Posted by godfrey (link)
Back in Business

Fortunately, between my disk cache, Google and the Wayback Machine, I believe I was able to retrieve all of my previous entries.

It was a fairly simple matter to parse the HTML files, pick out the individual entries and stuff them all into the MySQL database, though I'm afraid many of the HTML entities got mutated for some reason, which makes the W3C HTML Validator complain mightily. Such is life.

Posted by godfrey (link)
Milestone

This summer, I think I officially become an old fart. And it is, in fact, a term of pride.

Posted by godfrey (link)
Monday, 11 March 2002
Bring me the head of Walt Disney!

Disney must be stopped. Cinderella II?! Peter Pan II: Return to Never Land?! The Hunchback of Notre Dame II?!?!?!

Disney, which has poured tons of money into the political arena in order to keep extending the copyrights on its own characters, obviously has no hesitation when it comes to appropriating (and mutilating) others' works. I'll say this for them, they certainly do make an art form of hypocrisy. Heaven forbid they should pay writers to come up with original ideas for new cartoons, rather than simply churning out sequels to their bastardized "interpretations" of classic literature.

Speaking of Disney, what's with this 100 Years of Magic celebration they're pushing on TV? According to the IMDb, Walt Disney's first contribution to the entertainment world was in 1922, so either they're 20 years too early, or they think Baby Walt excreted masterpieces into his diapers.

Posted by godfrey (link)
The alchemy has passed me by.

As people around the country are observing, today marks the six-month anniversary of the destruction of the World Trade Center. Across the nation, people are proclaiming that that fateful day changed their lives forever.

Why?

Certainly, it can't be the mere fact that people are capable of acting in so barbaric a fashion. Such heinous acts are perpetrated on a continual basis on this planet, as anyone who reads or watches the news should be well aware. People in Ireland regularly shoot, bomb, and beat other people simply for believing in the same God in a different way. South Africans shoot, bomb and beat each other for having different amounts of melanin in their epidermis. Palestinians and Israelis regularly shoot, bomb and beat each other over an arid patch of land. Every day, it seems, brings more examples of "man's inhumanity to man".

So what is it about September 11th that is so world-shaking to these people? Is it the number of deaths? Over thirty times as many Iraqis are estimated to have been killed during Operation Desert Storm, but people weren't agonizing over that to the degree that they have done over September 11th, so it probably isn't that.

Is it the fact that it happened to us that causes people to declare that their whole world has changed? A sad thought, if true — for it means that Americans can callously shrug off the deaths of others as meaningless occurrences, caring nothing for terrorist attacks upon other peoples, yet demanding sympathy from the world when the same thing happens on our own soil.

My world did not change on September 11th, for what played out in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania was no different than what has been occurring nonstop in the Middle East, or in South Africa, or in Ireland; only the location changed. I had already believed that humanity, despite its technological accomplishments, is a race of savages: given wholly over to bestial hatred in some parts of the globe, but in others possessing merely a veneer of civility which is quickly thrown off in the name of revenge.

Posted by godfrey (link)
Wednesday, 13 March 2002
Back to safe subjects

This week, I finished eroding every last vestige of the bump on the 'J' key on my keyboard at work. So when I move my hand off the mouse and back to the keyboard, it's always interesting to see if I'll be typing actual words or random gibberish. The bump on the 'F' key went some time ago, but as I rarely move my left hand off the keyboard, it doesn't affect me too much.

There's also a gaping hole in the lower-left corner of the down-arrow key, because when I put my hands on the arrow cluster, I put my index, middle and annular fingers on the left-arrow, up-arrow and right-arrow keys, and I tuck my thumb under for the down-arrow, which means that my thumbnail rests on the corner of the key, and from less than a year's worth of use, has actually cut a groove into and through the wall of the key.

They just don't make keyboards like they used to. My first keyboard — a genuine IBM keyboard — was so heavy that I think the keys and case were actually cast iron. The keys made a satisfying CHUNK noise as they went down, and you could probably roll a Sherman tank over it without doing any damage.

Posted by godfrey (link)
Thursday, 14 March 2002
Naked

This morning, as I got dressed, I put my Visor Prism in my shirt pocket, then decided I should HotSync it, in case any of the Web sites I download with AvantGo had changed. So I put it back in the HotSync cradle, hit the button and continued getting ready for work. And left without the Prism.

I feel naked without it. I ordered some merchandise, and couldn't log the credit card transaction in MyCheckbook. I don't have access to my "To Do" list, so I had to write something down on paper and hope I remember it when I get home. Ack.

I can't wait for the days when they can just implant an interface chip in my brain. Unless, of course, it's from Microsoft; I'm not ready for the Blue Synapse of Death.

Posted by godfrey (link)
Friday, 15 March 2002
Disturbing Omens

Yesterday, there was a flood of cheese. Today, there was a blizzard of labels. Ill portents, surely.

Apparently, a truck carrying mozzarella cheese turned over yesterday in Tampa, spilling cheese onto the highway and creating a driving hazard. Cheese everywhere. Fortunately, I didn't encounter that — however, today I had to drive through a flurry of fanfold mailing labels that had blown out of a truck. A segment of fanfold got stuck onto my headlight, so I had to continue the drive into work with a 6-foot banner flapping madly on the hood. Very distracting.

Last night, Karen and I went to see Robert Schimmel at the Tampa Improv. He was hilarious, as was Jim Short, the comedian who opened for him. A good time was had by all.

Addendum: Well, Robert Schimmel's site is certainly out of date. It says we can catch him live in St. Louis on December 15, 2000. Sherman, into the Wayback Machine!

Posted by godfrey (link)
Sunday, 17 March 2002
Our lawyers will do lunch.

Someone emailed me an interesting image last night. It's a scan of an article from an Australian computer gaming magazine which talks about a Stargate mod for Quake 3 Arena. Accompanying the article are two images, apparently screenshots from the game.

Only they're not from the game. They're images I created (originals are here and here). I'm not credited for these images in the article. A 3D artist is named, but it's not me. I am somewhat perturbed.

Time to begin researching Australian copyright laws, I think.

Posted by godfrey (link)
Monday, 18 March 2002
When Animals Move In

Animals really love our house. Last year, we had a problem with something — probably a cat — leaving dead mice and birds in our carport. Cats conduct courtship rituals in our yard. We occasionally hear noises in our attic, probably a squirrel. One of our cats killed a macrocephalic mouse one night. And, of course, being Florida, there are the occasional palmetto bugs.

And we now have a pigeon. Although our house has central air conditioning, there's a small air conditioning unit in the wall between the house and the carport. A matronly pigeon has set up her nest there, and is busy hatching her eggs. When she was building her nest, she'd fly away as soon as we opened the door; now, however, she sits stock-still, like a realistically painted sculpture. It's really uncanny how perfectly motionless she remains; most other birds I've seen look like they've just drunk about six gallons of espresso.

I had another visitor last night. I was watching the X-Files when I felt a tickling on my bare arm; I thought it was my cat's whiskers, but when I looked, it turned out to be a spider with a legspan of about 2.5 inches (which doesn't sound very large, but when it's crawling on your arm, that's another matter entirely).

Speaking of the X-Files, a few weeks ago, they were running teasers for "the final 12 consecutive episodes", then "the final 11 consecutive episodes", and so forth; however, there will be no X-Files episode next week. Somebody at Fox needs to look up the word consecutive. Harrumph.

Posted by godfrey (link)
Monday, 25 March 2002
Back to the real world

My mother came to visit last week, so I took some time off, expecting a little relaxation. More fool I; my mother, though retired, is still extremely active. We did a lot of walking.

One of the fun things we did was to go to an exotic cat retirement home here in Tampa. (Lions and tigers and bearcats, oh my!) I discovered that stinky housecat litterboxes are quite pleasant compared to the smell of ocelots, and that bearcats emit an odor that smells like popcorn to some people, and Fritos to others. (To me, they smelled exactly the way "Buttered Popcorn" flavored Jelly Belly jellybeans taste.)

I got to pet a Siberian Lynx (which seemed to enjoy it, and licked my hand a lot) and a bobcat (which started purring). We weren't permitted to get near the larger cats, but it's astounding how much their behavior resembled that of their smaller, domesticated kin. Except for the fact that the tigers really loved playing in water.

Saturday night, my friends and I dragged my mother along to a They Might Be Giants concert. The opening band, OKGO, was rather disappointing — though that may have been more the fault of the sound engineer than of the actual band; their vocal mics were set at a level much lower than the instruments, and the tone was extremely muddy as well, so their lyrics were utterly incomprehensible.

The pause between OKGO and TMBG was interminable (as most such pauses are), exacerbated by the hideous canned music (which stretched the definition of "music" to the breaking point). Finally, TMBG came out and put on a pretty good show, even if the vocals were just as muddy as the previous band's (I couldn't even understand them on the songs I knew by heart). John Flansburgh seemed fairly enthusiastic about the performance, but John Linnell looked like he was just phoning it in.

I also discovered that I've spoken to Mossad spies on a couple of occasions. One of the local "alternative" newspapers, The Weekly Planet, printed an interesting article on "Israeli art students" in Tampa who turned out to be spies. And I just thought they were scam artists.

Posted by godfrey (link)
Two programmers walk into a bar...

I wouldn't make a very good stand-up comic. For starters, my work experiences as a computer programmer haven't provided me with many anecdotes that would do well with a mainstream audience: "One of my coworkers is a vegetarian, so I fill up the stack with the value 3735928559 just to piss him off." That's why you'll never see a sitcom about computer geeks.

Which is probably just as well.

Posted by godfrey (link)
Thursday, 28 March 2002
Slam, bam, thank you, ma'am.

Yesterday, I received a letter from VeriSign (motto: The Value of Trust™), labelled Expiration Notice - Reply by April 19, 2002. Inside, it contained an expiration notice and renewal form, indicating that www.shipbrook.com needed to be renewed.

I was somewhat upset, as last month, my Webhosting service had sent me an email giving me 24 hours' disconnection notice, despite the fact that I had just paid for two years' renewal. (That turned out to be a bug in the billing system.) Assuming that they had taken my money and not paid it out to VeriSign, I called them up again to inquire why I was receiving this renewal notice when I'd paid for two years.

It turns out that they have nothing to do with VeriSign. The fine print on the back of the renewal notice reveals that by signing the form, I'm authorizing them to be my new domain name registrar — a practice known in the long-distance telephone industry as "slamming", and illegal in the United States (though only telephone service is addressed by the law).

VeriSign has been taking some heat for this practice, which is incredibly ironic given that they were accusing their competitors of doing that very thing last year.

Apparently, the Value of Trust™ isn't very high.

Posted by godfrey (link)
I know words were coming out of my mouth...

A phone call that I just took:

Hello, <Company Name>.

Hello, I need to check the status of a claim.

Ma'am, this is a court reporting service.

Is this Accordia Benefits?

No, it's <Company Name>. A court reporting service.

Oh, I guess I have a wrong number.

This happens here at least a couple of times per week. One would think that, upon hearing a company name vastly different from the one the callers were expecting, they would realize that they've got the wrong number. But no, that's not what happens at all. Invariably, they charge right on ahead, perhaps assuming that the person answering the phone is confused about the name of the company he works for.

Sheesh.

Posted by godfrey (link)