Hey, something actually newsworthy happened in Tampa! 15-year-old Charles Bishop crashed a Cessna into the 28th floor of a building four blocks from my office. Fortunately, since he did it on a Saturday when the building was practically deserted, all he really accomplished was to remove himself from the gene pool.

I just returned from the office directly beneath where he crashed. The large plate-glass window was boarded over, and that corner of the lobby was cordoned off with police tape. Otherwise, the 27th floor seemed undamaged.

Last night, of course, the news anchors on the Fox channel were whipping themselves into a frenzy during what seemed like every commercial break before the 10:00 news. "Was there a connection to Osama bin Laden? We'll tell you at ten!" Of all the news teams in the Tampa Bay area, the Fox team does the most blatant, embarrassing pandering for ratings. (Actual quote during one sweeps week: "If you use feminine hygiene products, we'll tell you something that could save your life!")

During the news, they showed Tampa police chief Bennie Holder mumbling a prepared statement, his eyes glued to his notes the entire time. (I presume they choose police chiefs based on job merit rather than enunciation, but really, if a high-ranking public official can't speak coherently in front of the press, he ought to use a spokesperson.) They also claimed that Bishop's suicide note was found in his shirt pocket. The newspaper today claims it was in a canvas bag found in the rubble. Ah, there's nothing like accuracy in reporting.

Grief counselors have been dispatched to Bishop's high school. This seems rather ridiculous, as all the reports about Bishop emphasized the fact that he was a loner with no friends. I predict the grief counselors will be seeing a lot of malingerers who are taking advantage of the opportunity to get out of class for a while.

What can potential copycats learn from this weekend's events? First, a Cessna does not have anywhere near the same destructive potential as a jumbo jet. Second, if you crash into a mostly deserted building, the only person you'll end up killing is yourself, which is kind of pathetic if you're trying to emulate a terrorist attack (as Bishop was purported to have been doing). Third, for some bizarre reason, MacDill Air Force Base -- the very center of operations for Operation Enduring Freedom -- has no interceptors on hand, so Tampa seems to be a pretty safe place to do something stupid in an airplane.