I'll Say She Is!
Wednesday, 23 October 2002
New Beverage Review - Diet Vanilla Coke

For months now, the reviewer's friend, Lisa, as well as the reviewer's spouse, have been raving about the joys of Vanilla Coke. Now, as Diet Vanilla Coke has hit the streets, we'll see if the calorie-free version lives up to its corn syrup-sweetened cousin. Truly, Diet Cherry Coke and Diet Lemon-Flavored Coke fail to satisfy the taste buds. The cherry flavor is tepid at best, while the lemon flavor is quite artificial in nature.* Hardly fitting accompaniments for the classic, slightly harsh yet somehow divine taste sensation that is Diet Coke. Would the newest offering flop as badly as the first two?

As it turns out, no. Diet Vanilla Coke has a pleasant, soft and sensual aroma. It has an almost floral, sweet vanilla top-note that floats above the base Diet Coke flavor, blending perfectly to create a mellow, warm, semisweet flavor. The palate is left with a nutty yet clean aftertaste. An excellent aperitif, this would also make a great accompaniment to desserts. Looks like the third time's the charm for Coca-Cola's latest diet beverage.**

*Tastes like someone sprayed Lemon-Fresh Pledge in your Diet Coke.

**You know what it reminds me of? When McDonalds was selling Coke floats, I used to get Diet Coke floats; this drink tastes like that concoction. Yum!

Posted by ginevra (link)
Comments
How are you not a professional wine reviewer? Such panache.
At last my English degree pays off - but I'm still miles away from Corkmaster!
I am reminded of an excellent review of Australian Table Wines by Monty Python (yes, someone had to lower the bar):

"A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Australian table wines. This is a pity, as many fine Australian wines appeal not only to the Australian palette, but also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain.

'Black Stump Bordeaux' is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured Burgundy, whilst a good 'Sydney Syrup' can rank with any of the world's best sugary wines.

'Chateau Bleu', too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and its lingering afterburn.

'Old Smokey, 1968' has been compared favourably to a Welsh claret, whilst the Australian wino society thouroughly recommends a 1970 'Coq du Rod Laver', which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: 8 bottles of this, and you're really finished -- at the opening of the Sydney Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an hour.

Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is 'Perth Pink'. This is a bottle with a message in, and the message is BEWARE!. This is not a wine for drinking -- this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

Another good fighting wine is 'Melbourne Old-and-Yellow', which is particularly heavy, and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat."
Yeah, that's what I was aiming for. I remember someone describing a skit about wine tasting. The first two people made very high-brow descriptions; the third person spit out the stuff and exclaimed, "Tastes like warm horse piss squeezed through a dirty sock!"