Okay, "Iron Chef USA", with William "Pudgy" Shatner as "The Chairman", has got to be the cheesiest thing cable TV has seen in a long time. Words cannot describe the cheesiness. Is Shatner just parodying himself now? Is it possible to become a parody of yourself? Apparently so. There was more cheese in the first five minutes of that show than a manicotti the size of Toledo. I could not handle the cheese. That was enough cheese to give Mr. T lactose intolerance. Wow.

And who designed those taffeta chefs' outfits? You can't cook in taffeta. Imagine the grease stains!