I saw this enormous bug, thankfully squished, in a parking lot the other day. It was huge, easily the size of a canned ham. I think a roach must have had its way with one of those freaky, big-ass beetles and this was the offspring. Okay, maybe it was more like the size of my cell phone. And I don't have one of those small cell phones either. I think it's a Motorola. Not the bug - the phone.

Jeff said I should have saved it and brought it to an acquaintance of ours who has a Ph.D. in Bugology. But that was too gross, and besides, I want to stay friends with the guy.