Disturbing signs seen at a recent visit to a hospital:

1. A poster extolling the virtues of accuracy-"Someone's life may depend on it!" Should I be scared that they need to promote accuracy? Is there an inaccuracy issue in this particular hospital?

2. "No Latex Balloons Allowed". This sign forced me to jettison 80% of the festive balloon bouquet I was attempting to deliver to a young patient.

3. "Nuclear Medicine" - I know it's beneficial, it still sounds scary.

4. (On the hospital grounds) "For Your Safety, Please Do Not Feed the Cats" - What are they, stray mountain lions?

5. A big list of various emergency situations, such as irate patient (must have just received the bill for his hospital stay), power outage, tornado, - and "Disaster (David)". This David guy must be a major pain in the butt if he warrants his own warning.