I got a bit peckish before lunch, so I stopped at the newsstand in the building next door for a snack (the Indian restaurant was busy, otherwise I would have gotten a papadam). As the guy in front of me paid for his purchases, I noticed he'd done the old trick of putting a $100 bill on the outside of a wad of smaller bills, to make it look like he was rich.

Such a contrast. When my brother and I were younger, our father advised us to put the small bills on the outside, so as to present a less inviting target to the hordes of robbers that (in his worldview) lurk everywhere, waiting for people to reveal themselves as potential victims.

It's not really his fault; from what I remember of my grandmother, I'm certain she's the one who taught him Fear of Other People (along with Fear of Having One's Eyes Put Out, Fear of Going to the Poorhouse and Fear of Being Electrocuted While Urinating During a Thunderstorm).

It's not like all his advice is bad; for example, it makes good sense to break down the boxes that expensive electronic appliances come in before putting them out for trash pickup. The "birds and the bees" talk was disastrous, though (in part, I suspect, because he waited until I was in college to try and have "the talk" with me).

I had always known my father was "frugal" (to put it kindly), but I'd never realized exactly how much of a tightwad he was until "the talk", wherein he informed me that one could save money by washing prophylactics thoroughly for reuse.