Once again, I cannot simply buy a computer part and have it work.

I have been fighting a running battle against Theseus, my computer, trying to get it to (a) successfully burn a CD-R, and (b) output video to my digital videocam. Of great importance is (a), because I really need to back up my data. I haven't made a successful backup since I was running OS/2 Warp.

I recently discovered that the problems I'm having are frequently caused by running an AMD processor on a VIA chipset motherboard. So Friday, after carefully budgeting myself for the next month, I went and bought a Pentium 4 and an Intel chipset motherboard. I pulled out the guts of my computer, installed the new motherboard, put everything back together, hit the switch, and...

Nothing.

Well, the power-supply and CPU fans turned on, but that was it. No video. No keyboard lights. The hard drive didn't even spin up.

I'd had a similar problem with my previous motherboard: the memory I'd been sold wasn't compatible with the motherboard. So I went to CompUSA (the only computer store that was open) and bought some more memory, with assurances from the salesdroid that it would work in a Biostar M7TDB motherboard.

Nothing.

So I had to wait until this morning, and called the tech support staff at the store where I'd bought the motherboard. It turns out that I need a power supply specifically designed for Pentium 4 motherboards. Oh, and a new video card, since the AGP slot only works with AGP-4x cards, and mine is an AGP-2x.

Of course.