Today's my birthday. Yesterday my friends took me to a great Japanese restaurant (Sev and I were the only ones who ate raw fish) and showered me with neat gifts. But that's not why I'm doing the dance of d and d.

I remember wanting to be on the Mike Douglas Show when I was (much) younger. I thought I would be on as a famous author. So here I am, older than I've ever been before, and I've neither written a book nor been on a talk show. At this point, I think the only talk show I qualify for would be Dr. Phil.

Dr. Phil: "Welcome to the show, Karen. I have to say, you're a pretty screwwy chick."

Me:"Thanks, Dr. Phil. The meds help a little bit. So, do you have any advice for me?"

Dr. Phil:"Get real! You either get it or you don't! Snap out of it! Well, that's all the time we have. Thanks everybody!"