I'll Say She Is!
Tuesday, 22 June 2004
Stalked by a geneologist
Don\'t stalk

The other day, a periodic Google-ing (Googling?) turned up two interesting items. One, there are at least two people fairly big in academia who already have my name, or various components of my name, so I have been correct to style myself with my two last names - not only pretentious, it will also set me apart from these other people.

Two, and this is more disturbing, some geneologist has listed my name, along with the names of all my family members, on his family web site. We are apparently linked on my maternal grandfather's family. It just struck me as somewhat stalker-like, seeing all the names of my family just listed there, on this stranger's geneological list, my parents and my brother, aunts and uncles and cousins, like our names were some sort of butterfly collection to this person.

I'm only vaguely interested in the study of my family tree, one of my uncles has mapped out Mum's side of the family pretty well, but I'd be curious to find out more about dad's family. Not curious enough to pony up for a costly membership to one of theose money-making geneological web sites, however.

This name collection on-line was made even more creepy by the fact that he had only listed husband #1 next to my name. I suppose that's what wigged me out the most. Do you think Mr. Stalker Geneologist would just drop me entirely from his weird record obsession?


Posted by ginevra (link)
Comments
I wouldn't be completely disturbed by it; genealogists are completists by nature but mostly unstalker-like. :) Sometimes they forget that people don't want their names posted. As a history buff I imagine that you can identify just a little bit with the collector instinct in this case. ;)

The genealogy program I use supposedly marks everyone born after 1910 as (PRIVATE) when generating web files -- so you can see that there was someone named (PRIVATE) Smith and (PRIVATE) Jones but you don't see the birthdate or anything incriminating. You could ask this genealogist to do this, to respect your privacy.

Most likely, incidentally, one of your family members gave him this info. In my case a lot of times it's unasked-for. Someone e-mails me and says "You're descended from Sir Robert of Bilgewater? So am I!" and then lays out their entire family tree for me, right down to their grandchildren (these are often older people, for some reason). I always enter the info into my database because it might help me later when I am trying to research something, but I try to mark all the living people as private so no one can misuse the info that someone gave me so trustingly.

It's kind of cool, though; I've found tons of distant cousins this way. I got e-mail today from someone who turned out to be a 10th cousin -- our family lines diverged in the 1600s.

- litlnemo (who reads this on LJ under a different name and wants to mention that the background of this page is disturbing because it MOVES when seen in peripheral vision!)

I know that in the 15 years I've been doing genealogy, I've found:
a) My maiden name misspelled
b) I'm supposedly married to someone I don't even know
c) Different sets of parents
and so on and on and on!

Each person has their own "comfort zone" about the personal information available to the general public. While I haven't had to do it, a family member was asked to remove information from her website that the lady didn't want published.

Personally, I've had fun (and received quite a few shocks) since I've been researching our family. I found, contacted and visited my dad's half-sister. Dad has had no contact with her for over 40 years (and doesn't want any.)

Two years ago, I found out my dad was married before and I have 2 half-brothers. Recently I found out that my mother put a son up for adoption before she married my dad. I've gone from 1 brother to 4 in two years! Of course, I'm still the only girl. ;-)
I am a pretty private person in terms of what details I feel comfortable about publishing on-line. I have my reasons - it's safe to say that I think I have some validity to my concern, though fortunately that concern may be fading as the years go on.

Plus, there's that whole identity theft issue - with your full name published and all your family information right there, well, that just seems to be asking for trouble.
Someone would have to do a lot of hard research to find out where you live and steal your life. You have a common name. I'm sure you shouldn't worry. All the people who share my married name are doctors. Lunchbox found someone with his surname in South America and so did my brother. This is not such a bad thing. It's kinda cool.
Well, if they have your full name (first, middle, last), and your mother's maiden name - call me paranoid, but isn't "mother's maiden name" a common question for credit card security? There's some articles about it here, and Wired had an article too.

Based on what happened to me in 1997, I just don't want stuff like that out there, if at all possible. Lee is common but the other names, not so much.
Wired's article - http://www.wired.com/news/politics/0,1283,36442,00.html

("Hey, there's no such thing as 'Weird' magazine!" - Homer Simpson.)
litlnemo - sorry about the dizziness, I've been meaning to make a more "easy on the eyes" skin for this blog!

It's not the genealogist that I'm worried about so much, though to me just posting a big list of names is a little...I don't know, odd? But that's in my view. All I'll say is - two words: restraining order...and until I find evidence to the contrary (which is what I was looking for when I found this guy's site) I will probably seem very paranoid.

OK, I think I am getting it now...

It's just the genealogist (and the names geek!) in me that finds the idea of a big list of names not weird at all! ;) But he really should privatize the living people, to prevent the "mother's maiden name" issue.

(I think the mother's maiden name is a stupid security question anyway. It's easy to find someone's mother's name, and in many circumstances it's well known in the community already. They should always ask you to create your own question.)