Buddy the wiener dog is dumber than a bag of doorknobs. Every time Jeff or I happen to be in the yard when Buddy is on duty, the dog barks his fool head off. Once you walk up to him and let him sniff you, he stops. You would think the dog would remember after several months of this same routine.

Buddy is a replacement wiener dog. The original apparently keeled over and died of a heart attack in the midst of a Super Bowl party. I wonder if the deceased was any brighter a specimen of dachshund. Wiener dogs were originally bred to hunt badgers by pursuing them into their underground lairs. I suppose that task doesn't call for a whole lot of smarts.

I've seen Buddy gazing with what I swear was homoerotic interest at my greyhound as he ran around the back yard. Buddy just stared and stared with inapropriate admiration at the greyhound's lithe and athletic body. That Buddy just ain't right.