I was quite excited when I visited the mailbox today - my silk had arrived! But I was underwhelmed when I opened the package. See, the description said that it was 54" wide silk taffeta. But the stuff they sent me was only 42" wide, and it was semi-sheer. Isn't it kind of a universally-understood thing that taffeta is a certain weight? (Okay, understood by the fabric cognoscenti.) And the description said suitable for dresses and blouses, I didn't think that meant "suitable for dresses and blouses, the likes of which can be found at Fredrick's of Hollywood." I can't make an Italian Ren out of see-through fabric! And of course the company's customer service line shut down by the time I got on the phone.

"Yes, hello, dreadfully sorry to bother you, but the silk you sent me is rather disappointing. Now be a good chap and send me some suitable silk before I come over there and shove French fries up your nose."