I approached one of the woodpaneled, aquarium-embellished bars at the XO Club slowly. "I'd love a beer," I told the bartender. "Um, I have bottled imported beers for sale. You can get a free draft at the other bar." How could she tell that I was a woman who was only interested in free beer? I was dressed for work, so it's not like I was in a tube top and Daisy Dukes.

Anyway, mad props to the well-connected Lunchbox for getting a girl like me into a high-class joint like the Ice Palace's XO Club last week. I like going to posh places like that and pretending I actually belong there. And mad props to the Lightning for making the NHL playoffs since sometime in the late 20th century. Me like hockey!