I sometimes wonder if they ever have a sense of humor about the whole proselytizing thing, like do any of them ever make jokes about "You will be assimilated - resistance is futile" or would they get stoned to death for that?

The scariest thing I've ever seen is when they put a Jehovah's Witness Hall. These things go up inside of a couple of weeks, and most of the time and materials are donted or volunteered. To my understanding beer is not a part of this process, and THAT is completely counter to the way the construction industry works. Beer plays a vital role in construction. That and cheap cigarettes and butt-crack, but the BEER is essential.

I'd put good money on it being a case of, "Hey, let's drive around and Save the Immortal Souls of The Unsaved!"

*shudder* You were far kinder to them than I'd have been. That sort of thing tends to set me off, way off.

I wonder what it is about car repairs that draws that sort of people.

Once upon a time, I was having my car's brakes replaced, and I went across the street to a Burger King to have breakfast while they worked on my car. As was my wont, I had a book with me, and I was happily engaged in reading it when an elderly gentleman interrupted me.

"I see you like to read," he ventured brightly.

"Uh huh," I replied warily. Not Talking To Strangers had been drilled into my head from childhood by my father, a man who could get a job being a professional worrier.

"Have you read The Best Book In The Whole World?" asked the gentleman, and I could hear the capitalization in his voice, even on words that didn't need to be capitalized, like definite articles.

"Which book would that be?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Why, the Bible!" he said triumphantly.

"No", lied I, who as a teenager had read the entire thing cover to cover twice. "Who's it by?"

The man's eyes lit up. He'd hit the jackpot, a willing listener who could be taught about The Word! "Why, it was written by God!"

"God who?" I inquired innocently. Surely he would get the idea that I was being facetious; surely he would realize that there couldn't possibly be anybody in twentieth-century America (One Nation Under GOD!) who hadn't even heard of God or the Bible.

Surely, I was wrong.

He spent about five minutes burbling about how wonderful God was, and I felt less and less like listening to the guy. He was starting to give off a creepy vibe, too. I cut him short by asking if he really thought anyone could grow to adulthood without having at least heard about God.

He muttered some things about the fact that I wasn't very nice (which I suppose is true), but he went away.

On the other hand, there was that woman in the grocery store... that had nothing to do with car repair.

"Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole."

I get semi-regular visits from the wearing-a-suit-in-the-middle-of-the-Summer Watchtower folks where I live (one of the dangers of living in the Styx), and it never ceases to amaze me how dressed up they get for me just so I can answer the door and tell them to please go away and don't come back anymore. You'd think God was a pyramid scheme or something. I always point out that I don't show up at their houses on the weekends and try to convert them to Paganism, but that just seems to fuel their "we'll pray for you" fire.

I'm half tempted to actually attend one of their meetings one time just to figure out if they have some kind of bonus plan: convert 100 lost souls and get this nifty toaster, 500 and you get a brand new Goldstar microwave oven! It boggles my noggin'.

Alas, they always seem to show up at our house while I'm still asleep.

I would like to ask them about the point of recruitment; from what I've read, the Jehovah's Witnesses believe that only 144,000 people (read: Jehovah's Witnesses) will be saved when Judgement Day arrives. Since there are, I believe, already more than 144,000 Jehovah's Witnesses, then every recruit lessens their personal chances of going to heaven.

(Unless, of course, their chances of going to heaven are directly proportional to the number of people they recruit...)

jsut say you are jewish. works every time, sometimes they run!