My parents gave me a Geek Squad UPS a couple of Christmases ago. Thanks to frequent power outages, its batteries will no longer hold a charge, and need to be replaced. The batteries themselves have no markings; just shiny black plastic all the way around.

So I called Geek Squad to ask about purchasing replacement batteries. The "geek" who answered had no idea what I was talking about, and transferred me to a number at which a robotic voice demanded that I provide my Geek Squad customer ID number.

Well, I don't have one, so I tried the "Email us!" form on geeksquad.com. The email bounced back:

----- The following addresses had permanent fatal errors -----
<customerservice@GeekSquad-products.com>
    (reason: 550 Host unknown)

Swell - the "geeks" can't even set up their Web site's contact page properly. So I called the Geek Squad outfit at my local Best Buy. After listening to the phone ring for over seven minutes, someone outside of the Geek Squad department finally picked up. "No, we don't stock those. You'll have to call the Geek Squad main number."

Fine. So I call back, get a different person, explain my problem. She lets me get all the way through the explanation before saying, "I just work the switchboard, I'm not actually a geek. Let me put you on with someone who can help you."

Back to the robotic voice demanding my customer ID number. This time, I let it ask me for it three times, then it finally put me on with a human. So I explain the issue to the "geek" who answered. "So, you need a laptop battery?"

"No," I explain, "It's for a UPS. An uninterruptible power supply."

"Uh..." she said.

"You know, when the power goes out, it keeps supplying power to your computer?"

"So this isn't a laptop?"

"No. It's a Geek Squad UPS. The batteries have died. I need replacement batteries for it."

"Um, hang on, let me connect you with the parts department." I wait. A new "geek" comes on. I explain again what my problem is. "So can you tell me who manufactured it?"

"The only brand name on it is 'Geek Squad'."

"We don't make UPSes."

"Look, it says 'Geek Squad' in a shiny orange and black plastic badge on the front, there's 'Geek Squad' stamped into the metal case on both sides, and the product identification sticker on the bottom says 'Geek Squad'. There's no other company name on it anywhere."

"Um, okay, hold on." I wait. "Is there a model number on it?"

Now, I had told her the model number when I explained the problem, but I give it to her again: GS-975U. I hold again.

"Okay, we did sell that, but it's discontinued."

"Yes," I say. "I would like replacement batteries for it."

"Oh, we don't have those."

"Well, can you tell me a part number for the batteries, so I can try to find another supplier? Because there's no markings on them."

"Hold on, please." I hold. "No, sorry, I don't have any information on it." Really? She couldn't lay her hands on any service manuals or parts lists? Okay, whatever.

Eventually, through some Google searching, I discovered that the cells are BB Battery BP7-12 units. Fortunately, a local battery store carries them.

This incident spurred me to finally set up NUT, the Network UPS Tools, which will allow me to shut down all my machines cleanly in the event of a power failure.

Naturally, there was no "Geek Squad" driver for NUT. But after some experimentation with the genericups driver, it turned out that it's just a rebranded CyberPower Power99 UPS (upstype=7). It's not terribly smart, though; it'll only indicate whether or not it's on batteries, and whether or not the battery power is low. But that's better than a couple other UPSes I have, which don't even have communication capabilities.

However, I recently got an APC UPS which does communicate quite a bit of information, so as long as NUT monitors that one, it can send shutdown commands to all the other machines after the power's been out for a few minutes - then shut down the machines connected to the APC unit before its battery runs out completely.