Those who hotlink images from this blog will be severely dealt with. My webmaster is fiendishly clever and I am vengeful!

Lately, when I feel optimistic (or busy), I get the theme music for The Price is Right caught in my head.

Is that a Mr. T in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

Maybe "love" is a bit strong, but I am trying to avoid getting caught up in the pre-hurricane hype. Once again our city is on the edge of the "cone of woe", that is, the funnel-shaped projected storm track, this time for Hurricane Dennis. This means there are people swarming the grocery stores buying bottled water, ice, canned soup, and peanut butter. As opposed to last season, I am only occasionally tuning into the Weather Channel. I know where that storm is, but I'm not going to get all plugged in to the widespread panic that induces wild-eyed battery buying. However, we do need a few things from the Home Despot and the grocery store, two places that are sure to be filled with people who have been watching too much Jim Cantore.

Potentially interesting sidebar: I used to work with a guy named Dennis. He was one of those guys who is maybe 1/16th American Indian, and constantly wears Indian jewelry. He had a penchant for sharks, so we would play a kind of Dennis tag - when we would see him engaging a helpless fellow cow-orker in conversation, we would join the conversation long enough to bring up the subject of sharks, and then disengage from the convo, thus ensuring the cow-orker would be trapped talking to Dennis for at least another hour. Good times.

Overkill: "An excess of what is necessary or appropriate for a particular end." I just thought you might need to know what the definition of this word is since you have just announced yet another TV show starring Rachael Ray. Jebus, why don't you just call yourselves the Rachael Ray Network?

The concept for her original show, 30 minute Meals, is a good one. And I used to not mind watching it, until she became more annoying and incredibly repetitive. It's so damn formulaic, everything, down to her hand gestures in her opening monologue, is the same. The schtick where she piles everything into her arms at one to carry to the counter. The way she says "EVOO ExtraVirginOliveOil" EVERY SINGLE TIME IN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE. (Interesting fact, by the way, there are some occasions when you don't want to use olive oil because it has a strong taste and a different burning point than butter or other oils. Ever think of that, Rachael?) And don't get me started on the "garbage bowl". So that show has been ruined for me.

Then they gave her 40$ a Day, where Rachael travels to cities and shows you, the viewer, where to eat. Her money saving ideas include coupon clipping and not leaving tips. Brilliant! Then they made Inside Dish, where she interviews typically B actors. I don't think Barbara Walters could make this one work, because who wants to see people talking with food in their mouths?

So now the Food Network, who apparently believes repitition is the key to success, is about to bring us Day to Day with Rachael Ray. Even if her guests aren't eating, we are not in for a treat. I watched the Penn & Teller Inside Dish (Not B actors, by the way, but A+ magicians), and her line of questions went something like this: "So, do you guys like food? What's your favorite meal? I bet you eat out in restaurants a lot." True, the show is on the Food Network and I guess I should expect the questions to deal with eating, but that just does not make for scintillating television.

Why does mediocrity reign?

(P.S. - yes, I know I watch too much Food Network and this is a reason to cut back. It's good background filler while I'm studying or doing chores.)