The ARSCC Sec Check

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This document is a parody of the "Church" of Scientology's "Sec Checks".

The ARSCC

Sec Check

ARS CENTRAL COMMITTEE COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE
<physical location deleted per Security Order N₂O-42-1-5>

ARS CC POLICY LETTER OF 05 OCTOBER 1995

Security Officers
IRC Operatives
Enturbulation Committee
Offline Redundancy Failsafe Staff

SEC CHECK WHOLE TRACK
(ARS CC Sec Form 1)

For processing use only. Score 2 points for every "yes" answer.

Whole Track Sec Check

ARS CC Sec Form 1
Have you ever enturbulated a Scientologist?
Have you ever posted portions of the SeKrIt SkRiPtUrZ?
Have you ever referred to LRH as Phatboy?
Have you ever taunted Helena K. Kobrin?
Have you ever taunted Andrew Milne?
Have you ever taunted Woody, Vera, or another lesser net.scientologist?
Have you ever picketed an org?
Have you ever been physically assaulted by a Scientologist?
Have you ever been threatened with legal action by HKK?
Have you actually been sued by the Church of Scientology?
Have you ever won a judgement against the Church of Scientology?
Have you ever referred to a Scientologist as a "clam"?
Have you ever encountered Gene Ingram in person?
Have you ever been dead-agented on alt.religion.scientology?
Have you ever plonked a Scientologist's post on a.r.s.?
Do you know what squick means?
Have you ever shifted to lrkrchyk's valence on #clambake?
Have you ever been on the official Co$ list of Suppressive Persons?
Have you ever exposed net.scientologists' lies on a.r.s.?
Have you ever received e-mail in reply from that net.scientologist?
Have you ever made the Fishman Documents publically available?
Have you ever caused or helped a Scientologist to "blow"?
Have you ever used Scientologist jargon without meaning to?
Do you know the infamous Six Lines from memory?
Have you ever been opped by BigWin?
Have you ever had a post to a.r.s. illegally cancelled?
Have you ever read Dianetics all the way through?
...Were you unable to keep from laughing out loud?
Has a Scientologist ever forged a post from you on a.r.s.?
Has your ISP ever been threatened because of something on your Web page?
Have you ever gotten a non-Net person interested in the a.r.s. situation?
Have you ever had a Scientologist place a Tone 40 intention on you?
...Did you laugh at them and demonstrate that it didn't work?
Have you ever dared a Scientologist to kill you with a thought?
Have you ever enturbulated a 1-800-FORT-RUT operator?
Have you ever been inside an org?
Have you ever taken the personality test?
Have you ever been a Scientologist, but wised up?
Have you ever put brochures into copies of Dianetics?
Have you ever stopped someone from buying a copy of Dianetics?
Has your Co$-related Web page ever been referenced by the media?
Have you ever posted any SeKrIt SkRiPtUrZ in a public (non-Net) place?
Have you ever created a parody on any Scientology document?
Have you ever created a parody on Scientology itself?
Have you ever been misquoted by a Scientologist?
Has a Scientologist ever asked you for technical Net-related help?
Have you ever gotten a Scientologist to admit the truth after lying?
Have you ever met more than five ARS CC members, excluding at pickets?
Have you ever deliberately done something to increase your SP rating?
Have you ever been SP-declared by Koos?

Revision 1.2 Copyright (c) 1995, 1996 Central Committee of alt.religion.scientology. Copy freely. Share it with your friends. See you on #scientology!

This page is maintained by Jeff Lee <godfrey@shipbrook.net>
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