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While I was in Clearwater, Florida, taking photographs of Scientology's Flag Service Org building and its environs, my camera picked up some strange, shimmering objects.

Now, I know that I didn't see any such thing when I was taking the pictures; I'm certain I would have noticed. But they definitely showed up on the film; the negatives do contain the images of these... things.

At first I didn't know what to make of them, but suddenly it struck me: they must have been Body Thetans -- ancient little psychic alien spirits that, according to the secret scriptures of the Church of Scientology known as OT III, attach to our bodies by the thousands and cause all of our psychological problems. These Body Thetans, having been audited off of Scientologists' bodies, must have been looking for a new home: ME!

For reference, below is the picture from which the second Body Thetan, above, was taken. Judging from the apparent size of the thing, it was probably very close to me at the time.